Country Man and City Wife
(Unfaithfulness)
Once upon a time, there lived a well-known teacher in
Benares. He had over 500 students. One of them was from the remote countryside.
Knowing little about the ways of city folks, he fell in love with a Benares girl
and married her. After the marriage, he resumed his studies with the famous
teacher, but soon started missing classes, sometimes staying away for two or
three days at a time.
His wife was accustomed to doing whatever she wanted. Even
though she was now a married woman, she was not loyal and faithful. Instead,
she fooled around constantly behind her husband’s back. Now, his wife had this
habit of behaving very humbly towards her husband each time she came home from
a secret rendezvous with a boyfriend. She spoke softly, was all demure and
gentle, and tried very hard to please her husband. But on other days, when she
had done nothing wrong, she was rude and domineering. She yelled at her husband
and nagged at him. This drove the man crazy. He was completely confused by how differently
she behaved from one day to the next.
The countryman was so disturbed that he stayed away from
classes. And when he stayed at home, he discovered that his wife was unfaithful
to him. He was so upset that he missed school for seven or eight days. When he
finally showed up, his teacher asked, “Young man, you have been away so long.
What happened?”
“Sir, my wife is cheating on me. She is as meek as a mouse on
days when she did something wrong, but on other days, she is arrogant, domineering,
rough and rude. I can’t figure her out.
I don’t know what to do or where to go for help. That’s why I
couldn’t attend your classes, ” he replied forlornly.
“Young man, don’t worry. Rivers can be bathed in by anyone,
rich or poor. Highways too are open to all. Generous people build roadside rest
houses to gain merit, and anyone can sleep there. Likewise, all are welcome to take
water from the village well,” said the wise teacher.
“Similarly, there are some women who just cannot stay
faithful to one man, and love to have more than one partner. That’s just the
way some people are. It’s hard to understand why they act this way, but why do
you get angry about things that you cannot change?”
“Your wife behaves submissively on days when she did wrong, and
behaves rudely on days when she has done nothing wrong. That’s just the way
some people are. So why do you get angry about things that you cannot change?
“Accept her as she is. Treat her in the same understanding
and compassionate way, whether she is kind or mean to you. Why do you get angry
about things that you cannot change?”
The student took heed of his teacher’s advice. In time, his
wife’s behaviour no longer upset him. The wife, on the other hand, gave up her
boyfriends and amended her ways when she realised her wanton behaviour was made
public.
The moral is ✏ Compassion and
empathy help relieve one’s anger.
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